First Kiss
by xxWriteTotheEndxx
Summary: What led up to Spock and Kirk's first kiss, and McCoy's reaction. (Spirk)


Spock hated emotions. He preferred to lock them away, and do his best to remain monotone. Other people's emotions, however, were a different story. Although it is little known, Vulcans can feel the emotions of those around them. Spock could feel a strong one, definitely not his, surrounding him. It had become nearly a physical force, almost crushing his chest. He had a slight idea of who's emotion it was, but it was a very illogical assumption. It was a strong emotion, a depression running deep and firm though someone's mind. Naturally, Spock could feel it, at first around the edges of his mind, then growing stronger, running through his head and heart, becoming a pressure.

When too close to said person, the emotion would overtake him, occasionally causing dizziness or headaches. Spock had been forced to sickbay twice that week already…and it was only Wednesday. He knew the emotion belonged to none other than James T. Kirk, the one man you would not expect to be depressed. But why, though? Kirk had shown no signs of depression, but, now that Spock mulled the though over in his mind, he knew the feeling had always been there, just a bit more…subtle.

Looking over at his captain, Spock frowned. It wasn't to be expected, seeing as the Captain -or Jim, as he often requested to be called- was normally spunky and…vibrant. Depression seemed highly unlikely, but if Spock was to continue to do his job in good health, he would need to help the Captain in some way. He needed to get rid of this pain that festered inside of him. Striding over to the Captain (keeping within a safe distance, of course, passing out simply gave Doctor McCoy an excuse to bother him about "health issues". It wasn't Spock's health issues that McCoy should worry about.) he stated, "Captain, I would like a word."

The Captain got up wordlessly, but quirked his eyebrow at Spock. Without response, the half-Vulcan strode out if the bridge and into the hall, where he turned to face the Captain, but not after making sure that nobody was around to overhear their conversation. "What is upsetting you?" Spock asked, the question falling hollow off his lips, sounding false. He knew this, how could an emotionless man make his words sound caring?

"I'm not upset, Spock." Kirk sounded fake, and it was quite clear that nobody would ever believe him. The first officer's irritation at the lie showed through a bit, as his eyebrows raised slightly and mouth pursed. Kirk sighed, licking his lips nervously, "It's not that important."

"It is. I can't focus because your emotions are affecting me. They're too strong. You're very depressed, and I'd like to know why." Spock rattled off, irritation flashing across his face. He cared about Kirk, although sometimes the Captain's stubborn personality bothered him. That, and the fact that Spock tended to have a slightly shorter temper with the Captain because of that caring. It wasn't a normal caring, it was stronger, harder to ignore.

"Look, just leave it, ok? I'll be fine." Kirk muttered, trying to get Spock if the topic, even though it was clear the half-Vulcan was not going to drop tired to turn away, but felt a cold hand grip his wrist.

"Captain, tell me. I will not hold any grudges, and I do not judge." Spock said, feeling heat flood into his hand, the one holding Kirk's wrist. It was an odd feeling, sending heat into his normally emotionless, cold, heart. He'd read that it helped humans to talk about their feelings, so hopefully the Captain could let go of the pain he carried with him.

Kirk looked up hesitantly, "You won't kill me?" After processing the question, Spock inclined his head slightly, " Why would I kill you?" Kirk sighed, then smiled slightly. He knew that what he was about to do could destroy everything he'd worked for. He knew that he would most likely mess everything up. But still, it could be worth it.

Kirk leaned forward, pressing his lips against his first officer's. After a moment, Spock felt warmth…humanity…engulf him, and he brought his hands up to touch the sides of Kirk's arms. It was enjoyable, this action, and he felt the darkness slowly draining from Jim's feelings. It also filled Spock with light, a happiness he let lose for a moment, allowing himself to grin against the captain's lips.

Kirk himself was purely shocked. Was Spock…kissing him back? As far as he'd been aware, Spock didn't have emotions. But somehow, Spock was kissing back, holding Kirk's smaller body close to his own. Kirk pulled back a bit, saying, "I thought you'd hate me. I, uh.." He stumbled over his words for a moment, "I love you." The fear of being hated by the man he loved had lingered in him for long enough, and now the situation brought tears slowly running down his face. He looked away, directing his attention to his shoes.

Damn it, James Tiberius Kirk should not cry. He was meant to be strong, to be the rock everyone relied on. He should not cry, as far as he himself was concerned.

"T'hy'la…"

Kirk's eyes snapped up when Spock tilted his head up and captured his lips again, holding himself against the first officer. He felt alive, for the first time in weeks. Although both could have stayed that way forever, they broke apart when Bones, about to approach Kirk, saw the two of them and muttered,

"Ugh, kissing and crying, I'll be back in a bit."

**A/N: Yep, Doctor Who referance. This was written at 2am, so it's not the best. I probably won't continue it. I hope you guys liked the story.  
**


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